From "The Art of Happiness: A Handbook for Living" by His Holiness the Dalai Lama and Howard C. Cutler

"We can see that there are many ways in which we actively contribute to our own experience of mental unrest and suffering. Although, in general, mental and emotional afflictions themselves can come naturally, often it is our own reinforcement of those negative emotions that makes them so much worse. For instance when we have anger or hatred towards a person, there is less likelihood of its developing to a very intense degree if we leave it unattended. However, if we think about the projected injustices done to us, the ways in which we have been unfairly treated, and we keep on thinking about them over and over, then that feeds the hatred. It makes the hatred very powerful and intense. Of course, the same can apply to when we have an attachment towards a particular person; we can feed that by thinking about how beautiful he or she is, and as we keep thinking about the projected qualities that we see in the person, the attachment becomes more and more intense. But this shows how through constant familiarity and thinking, we ourselves can make our emotions more intense and powerful.

We also often add to our pain and suffering by being overly sensitive, overreacting to minor things, and sometimes taking things too personally. We tend to take small things too seriously and blow them up out of proportion, while at the same time we often remain indifferent to the really important things, those things which have profound effects on our lives and long-term consequences and implications.
So I think that to a large extent, whether you suffer depends on how you respond to a given situation."

What is Dhamma? Nothing isn't.

Beliefs create reality

I started my self-improvement journey (using books as medium) with Anthony Robbins. I vaguely remember his conviction on how a person can be changed instantaneously, even with all the pre-existing conditions from childhood or recent experiences/memories. He always uses the analogy of a table with the four legs as the supporting beliefs. Break all four and the tabletop will have nothing to hold it, and there goes what we hold on to; old perceptions gone and we are free to choose new 4 legs again for a new table.

I too believe in this, even when I have not known of this from him. The thing is, sometimes we are very proud during the journey of self discovery that we think the things that we think are only thought by us, and I was exactly like that. Time passed and experiences showed that although what I thought was not wrong, there are just so many facades in life which are so glaring, in announcing, that we can only recognize right from wrong. And if we can recognize the wrong, it means somehow somewhere, the "wrongs" are within us, and we're part of it.

I'm at a juncture which I'm content with having no preference to things. Having the impartiality for now does take out the excitement and romance of the senses, but I found peace. What we have always wanted to do, in everything we do, to avoid pain and gain pleasure, are nothing but like a dog chasing its own tail. Having let go of the chasing, I hope to see things as they are. And what I experienced was nothing short of magic.

Purpose driven life

I had a harder-than-usual wake-up call recently. The same thing which has always been nagging at me, gnawing bit by bit what I am, but the "better" part of me, i.e. pride always managed to fend itself. Well not anymore, last few days have been pure bliss; having at least a glimpse of the answer to the question "What do I want it to be?". And I'm carrying this blissful feeling all day long. I know this is right. This is something I have to do to remedy the tortured soul this long while.

And so today I took the first step, and it was not an easy step, literally. I took the wrong turn, met a few crazy drivers, couldn't find a parking spot etc.. But I did manage to end up where I wanted to go. I did not expect the experience to be awe-inspiring or anything near that. It was a casual conversation, filled up some forms and a quick chat.

And that's it. My life is officially now in Chapter 3.

*Ego wrote this post. "My" post will ensue...

"Whatever you want it to be"

This is where I started the purposeful life. The power of this statement lies in the kind of person we currently are. And more and more I see examples of man and women who live by this, whether or not they realize it. We have the power to choose. It is a right, and never should be a privilege. We choose to be what we want. The helplessness set in when we give in, when we resign to the so called "facts of life", that we are powerless, or are limited in what we can do.

This is the essence:

Examine the person you are, be the person you are, and if you want to change, make sure it's for the right reasons. Along the journey, you will realize the things that are important to you. Not urgent. Important. This is the way to become who you want to be, not out of thrill, or momentary inspiration. It must be something that can sustain you, that can push you one more step when you feel like giving up. First step is always the longest stride. Decide what you want, for you alone will be living with the consequences. Sure, there's always free rides, what's worth the prize, is always, always worth the fight.

The purpose of life.

I'm sure many of us ponder sometimes on this question, and I'm also sure a lot just leave the question after not finding a satisfactory answer. We revisit it once in a while, and unless we find the answer, there's always this nag that keeps chewing at our heart.

Some of us are lucky to have found the answer, however unacceptable to others, which makes us feel the world makes sense again. It's usually in these "a-ha!" moments that we experience life changing emotions, making the decisions and move on with a renewed outlook. We become a new person.

I would like to share mine, having found "my" answer sometime ago, and while I don't expect this to make sense to all, at least put it in your life's context and see if it fits. I've been searching, asking, pestering, many people, knowledgeable people, people who I respect for their answers. And none of it made sense to me.

The persons we are.

Progress of mankind as we know has come with a hefty price tag, whether we realize or not. We take pride in creating something out of nothing, the skyscrapers, bridges, even themed parks. We take refuge in the comfort of what these things bring, that we are better than our parents. We are always more knowledgeable than the previous generations, and wiser than the next, aren't we?

We feast on new things which interest us, something that no one has ever seen. This is the reason why I think we have all the animosities all around. We are so deep in stretching out that we forgot the very outreached arms are actually attached to ourselves. We forgot to take care of the body, the mind, the spirit, of us.

But all is not lost, in all histories, we can always see spots of bright blobs everyday. The tales of simple human beings overcoming the odds, of us knowing, understanding and realizing what really matter. And aren't these tales which actually touch us in the deepest of our hearts? Which makes us want to be better?

We strive to be better, to visualize where we want to be, and we forgot to be just where we are. It's always "what's next", always "just one more", always want to be someone, have to be someone. We believe in contentment stifling progress. If only we see progress as an improved oneself.

Too..

I was on my way to work yesterday morning and was stuck in a slow moving river of vehicles. The reason became apparent soon as I passed the scene of accident; a motorcycle was by the roadside, and suddenly I saw the motorcyclist (or rider) covered in black plastic bag.

My heart sank, right there. I felt so weak, powerless. Emotions took over and I couldn't function for the day. I keep thinking about the deceased, how he would have never thought that it will be his last day here, how his family would be so devastated to get the news.

Before I could pick myself up, I saw this:

Brothers in desperate bid to save mother
http://www.thestandard.com.hk/breaking_news_detail.asp?id=13866&icid=2&d_str=20090422

I just couldn't take it. Too much adversities, too little love. Too much to do, too little time...